'Roid Rage

I joined the local Gold's Gym today and aside from the flocks of wanna-be frat boys and beef-cakes, I was mostly annoyed by the techniques and attire of certain ShoBLs (show-boat lifters).

First of all, here is the list of things that are unacceptable to wear while working out: flip-flops, hats, cologne, jean-shorts, spandex (on men, of course), and goggles.

My next concern is for the people who think they know how to lift when they don't. Now I am not an expert, but I have been lifting for about 10 years. When bench-pressing, it doesn't count if you a) don't touch your chest, b) bounce it off your chest, or c) use your legs to lift your pelvis off the bench. On bicep curls it doesn't count if you lean back or don't extend your arms all the way. Doing any of these things is like doing push-ups from your knees, it's cheating.

Last, if you're going to the gym and you find that you spend an hour in the building but only did 3 sets, it means you're spending too much time sitting on the machine watching the girls on the treadmills. You may be the best-looking 5'9" fake-baking freshman at the local university, but you look like a complete tool when you do 1 set of 4 reps then sit up and stare at girls for the next 4 minutes.

/rant