August 29, 2007


A select few of you knew this story was coming, so here it is:

I recently drove almost 1500 miles to come back to school. Along the way I stopped in a tiny town in Iowa. I had to stop for gas but figured I'd grab a little grub while I was there since it was around 6:30 pm. I walked in and immediately started looking for something to eat, although at this point I was craving something WITHOUT high-fructose corn syrup. Before I decided on something I realized that I REALLY needed to use the little boys' room. I found it around the corner and had to force the door open because it weighed 200 lbs. It was then I felt like I walked into a Tarantino movie. As I walked in I noticed that the fluorescent light above the sink was flickering, adding an ominous glow to the semi-dark room. Above me, through the cheap, treble-enhanced speakers, "Willy and the Hand Jive" was playing (if you don't know this song, look it up, it makes the whole story better). I made my way past 2 non-functioning stalls to a questionable urinal. Then, as if directed by Tarantino himself, the door swung open with a loud creak. A generally unsavory character came in and, in my mind, queued by the music, he looked me up and down and cracked a smile while my palms started to sweat and I began shaking with fear and started searching for my happy place. (OK, that last part was all in my head). But he came in as I finished up so I made my way to the sink, which, not surprisingly, didn't work. I used sink #2, washed my hands, took one last look at the movie set I just walked in on and made my way back through the 200 lb door. But wait, there's more. I still have a craving to address so I ask the cashier lady if they have any fruit. Her response, "not fresh." Remember that this is a truck stop. My immediate response, again, in my head, is "well, how old? Like 2 days?" Of course I don't say this and the mere thought of 2-day old truck stop fruit is enough to make anyone spew. Cashier lady leads me to an aisle with, duh, fruit cups. I sigh with relief, grab some peaches and a diet pepsi and get out of there ASAP. The End.

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