Sound Familiar?

Yoda, from Star Wars Episode I:

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering.

Justice Brandeis, Whitney v California 274 US 357, 375 (1927):

Fear breeds repression; that repression breeds hate; that hate menaces stable government.

Ozzie Would be Proud

May, 2008

Can you spell hypocrite?

The NFL has been running a commercial featuring Shawne Merriman running around hitting guys and generally being destructive. Why is this hypocritical? Merriman was suspended for 4 games last year for...wait for it...violating the league's steroids and related substances policy. I understand that he's "done his time," so to speak, but this guy shouldn't be promoted as a role model. I think he's awesome as a football player, but why couldn't the NFL promote someone who HASN'T been busted for 'roids? Like, maybe, Zach Thomas or DeMeco Ryans?

[Update: I've seen this commercial about 5 more times since Sunday and the first half (the half with Shawne) is missing, it's only the second half with Stephen Jackson running around and through people]

Follow Up

Now that I've had a good night's sleep and talked with the roomie, let me follow up to yesterday's post:

Roomie feels almost exactly the same way about parties like that and about the forced and contrived conversations. He gets through it, though, by getting drunk and using the social lubricant to feel comfortable. I can't do this when there's only beer around; I find beer to be mostly repulsive, except in small amounts and only right out of the bottle.

It feels better that Roomie feels the same way about those people, that they aren't really relied upon in social situations as friends, but acquaintances who we see often. And I don't want anyone to get the impression that I think less of these people, I'm sure a lot of them were raised (so to speak) on that kind of partying, so I don't hold that against them.

All in all, it appears to have been a one-night "cool kids" rejection thing that I am 97% over at this point.

Revelations

I don't know if it's because I got into the game too late or if it's fallout from the really awesome rumor that my ex started about me after we broke up, but for some reason the "cool" kids still can't seem to accept me. I figure this is for 1 of several reasons, or a combination:

1. Possible lingering (false) rumor about my sexual orientation
2. I don't drink beer until I pass out
3. I don't have a hot bod
4. I'm not one of the "smart kids" (i.e. top 25%/law review)
5. I'm not wild and crazy
6. I'm not an asshole

I just got back from a party where I could literally stand in the same spot for 15 minutes and nobody would say more than, "hi," to me. I tried to be sociable, I walked around and chatted with people, but once they see that other person that's really cool, the convo ends. I'm like the guy who knows a lot of people but isn't really friends with anyone. Clearly there are exceptions to this and they have set themselves apart from the rest, but, as stated in previous posts, I need more guy friends. This is also for several reasons, one of which is, again, that really cool rumor from spring semester, the other is that I would like to be able to talk to other guys about guy stuff, i.e., girls, sports, girls, douchebags from class, and girls. Guys' minds work much different from girls' and I need more of that kind of stimulation. There are some guys that I hang out with occasionally but it's always through my roommate and it's clear that I am the "tag-along." My roommate is my closest friend here and we get along great and he likes to hang out with me, so when he's going out I get invited to go out with the guys who seem to have already passed on anointing me as a "cool" kid.

I'd like to have more friends in general and more guy friends specifically. I'd like if just once, someone would say, "hey, where's _________ ?" And hope that I showed up. I'd like if any of those people (who seem to be good people with high school clique mentalities) would take a step back from their beer pong and flirting and take a look at the big picture.

I don't want to sound desperate to join the "cool" kids. I just want to feel like an equal, rather than the guy who sometimes comes out and sometimes is fun but we really don't talk to him that much. I'd really like to leave this place with better memories than sitting by myself for 15 minutes before anyone even noticed I was there; why was I sitting there all by myself? Because every conversation I try to join feels so forced and contrived that it's painful. But again, I imagine that the people who read this are NOT the ones I'm talking about, the people who read this are real friends who understand me and DO call me to hang out. There doesn't seem to be a happy medium anywhere; I enjoy hanging with my friends, but it never feels complete, like someone is missing. I'm sure there's a part of me that is only concerned about not looking like the gay friend (again, enhanced by the really classy rumor), but if I'm with my friends I shouldn't care, right? Cripes, what a night...

Gee...ya think?

Thanks CNN

Nerd Overload

For some strange reason tonight, after doing my Constitutional Law reading, I felt inspired to watch a particular episode of The West Wing. This episode, "The Supremes," deals with the appointment of Supreme Court justices. In order for the White House to nominate who they really want they have to agree to also nominate who the Republicans want, as there are 2 seats open. Obviously these 2 candidates are as far apart politically as 2 people can get, one is a liberal woman who has actually had an abortion and the other is a conservative man who basically calls liberalism "the new socialism." Yet they get along like 2 fans of opposing teams, chiding each other and "arguing" as if debating who to draft with the 7th pick in a fantasy football league. Here's why I am blogging this at midnight: as they were discussing, I was understanding. They talked about the Commerce Clause, Lopez, Casey, suspect classes, substantive due process, the 14th Amendment, affirmative action, and DOMA. As often as I joke about blocking out the last year to save my sanity, one would think that I am not learning much. Clearly that is inaccurate.

This just in...

Apparently the Red Sox' pitching is on CNN's breaking news priority list...

Finally...

A select few of you knew this story was coming, so here it is:

I recently drove almost 1500 miles to come back to school. Along the way I stopped in a tiny town in Iowa. I had to stop for gas but figured I'd grab a little grub while I was there since it was around 6:30 pm. I walked in and immediately started looking for something to eat, although at this point I was craving something WITHOUT high-fructose corn syrup. Before I decided on something I realized that I REALLY needed to use the little boys' room. I found it around the corner and had to force the door open because it weighed 200 lbs. It was then I felt like I walked into a Tarantino movie. As I walked in I noticed that the fluorescent light above the sink was flickering, adding an ominous glow to the semi-dark room. Above me, through the cheap, treble-enhanced speakers, "Willy and the Hand Jive" was playing (if you don't know this song, look it up, it makes the whole story better). I made my way past 2 non-functioning stalls to a questionable urinal. Then, as if directed by Tarantino himself, the door swung open with a loud creak. A generally unsavory character came in and, in my mind, queued by the music, he looked me up and down and cracked a smile while my palms started to sweat and I began shaking with fear and started searching for my happy place. (OK, that last part was all in my head). But he came in as I finished up so I made my way to the sink, which, not surprisingly, didn't work. I used sink #2, washed my hands, took one last look at the movie set I just walked in on and made my way back through the 200 lb door. But wait, there's more. I still have a craving to address so I ask the cashier lady if they have any fruit. Her response, "not fresh." Remember that this is a truck stop. My immediate response, again, in my head, is "well, how old? Like 2 days?" Of course I don't say this and the mere thought of 2-day old truck stop fruit is enough to make anyone spew. Cashier lady leads me to an aisle with, duh, fruit cups. I sigh with relief, grab some peaches and a diet pepsi and get out of there ASAP. The End.

New Addition to Webster's

ad nau·se·am, adv: 1. Latin term used to describe something that has been continuing "to the point of nausea." 2. To a disgusting or ridiculous degree. 3. Discussion of Michael Vick during tonight's Monday Night Football game.

Vindication

Finally...

The former head of the NBA referees union and a league official for 26 years, Mike Mathis:

Remember when Jordan hit that winning shot? I'm going to give you exactly what the commentators said: 'What a great move by Michael.' Was that a great move or was that an offensive foul? There was no question it was a push-off. No buts about it. The only buts you can have is, 'Well, it was Michael Jordan.' That was a defining moment.

This was in reference to Jordan's game winning shot in game 6 of the 1998 finals. My soul was crushed that day.

This is too much...

OK, this is verbatim, 100% from the complaint itself and I am not making this up:

Jonathan Lee Riches A/K/A
"secured party,"
Plaintiff

v

Barry Bonds;
Alan H. "Bud" Selig;
Hank Aaron's Bat
Defendants

Complaint

"Fraud Against Mankind"
"Batman and Identity Robbin"

This is a complaint under Bivens, civil rights violations by the Constitution and the laws of the United States; and Federal tort claims inflicted by that include, but not limited to; Bat assault, HGH violations, Treason, Major Fraud, Skimming the books, illegal moonshine, Terrorism, social security Fraud, Treason, stalking, Identity theft, copyright Infringement, false information, Illegal electronics wiretapping, Bad Debt.

Comes now the Plaintiff Jonathan Lee Riches A/K/A "Secured Party" D/B/A "The White Suge Knight," in Pro-Se, moves this Honorable Court to issue an order for all DEFENDANT'S named in this suit to give a response. Plaintiff requests a Jury trial.

I am not going to type the rest because it's just too much work, but here are the rest of the high points:

• Requests injunction against defendants and their pets
• Claims his federal, state, local, and underground constitutional rights are being violated
• Requests $42,000,000 in Swiss Francs (certified money order) to be deposited into a lock-box in Des Moines
• His claims are
• Selig gave Bonds steroids at booth #11 at the Steak and Shake in I-70 and Robert Novak and Judith Miller have the transcripts
• Bonds uses Aaron's corked bat during games because it has secret compartments for the HGH
• Bonds was responsible for getting him federally indicted in Houston for attempting to expose Selig's steroid/cocaine abuse
• Bonds bench-pressed him to show off for his ballpark buddies
• Selig sold steroids to nuns
• (this is my fav) Bonds used Aaron's bat to crack the Liberty Bell
• Bonds stole his identity, got a mortgage from lendingtree.com, then burned the house down and took the insurance money
• Plaintiff won Aaron's bat at an auction at Sotheby's. Bonds sent hitmen to his house to get it and stole things from the "refrig." (attached exhibit has a list of food items)
• Bond's has a gambling debt with the Gambino's and fixed games 5, 6, and 7 of the World Series
• Bonds sold mustard gas to Saddam Hussein

In case you're wondering, this IS the same guy suing Mike Vick for stealing his pit-bulls, selling them on Ebay and using the money to buy missiles from Iran. He is suing Vick for $63,000,000,000 (that Billion, with a B).

I would LOVE to see this go to trial, "Mr. Bonds, isn't it true that you stole a ham sandwich from my fridge and then sold mustard gas to Saddam Hussein?" This is the kind of guy that would question himself on the stand.